Does anyone want to know what is way freakier than old-school Soundgarden videos?



Didn't think that was possible, did you? WELL IT IS.

Read these seven not-so-lucky-words: ‘It could swallow our solar system whole’

Now who, you may ask, could possibly think a bunch of star stuff* is so appetizing that they would throw it in a blender and call it gravy for Thanksgiving dinner?

Hint: It's not this guy. Or this guy.

Wait for it... wait for it...

M87 bitches!  RAAAAAWWWWWRRRR


...and you thought supermassive black holes only existed in soundtracks for terrible fake-vampire movies (which you will never ever see linked to in this blog).

Let's get the facts on this mother-of-all-black-holes:

• It "lives relatively close by -- just 50 million light-years away."

• It "weighs in at 6.6 billion suns, making it the local universe's heavyweight champ." 

• "The black hole's event horizon—the edge from within nothing can escape, not even light—is four times as large as the orbit of Neptune, the outermost planet in our solar system." 

• It uses a JET PACK. Yes, I just said JET PACK.

And what makes this beast M87 even more gnarlier is the possibility that it was formed "as a result of hundreds of smaller black holes merging into one at some point in the past."

Bottom line: Because of M87's ginormous size, this discovery gives us hope that in the very near future, astronomers may be able to detect the edge of its event horizon, ultimately leading to our ability to "see" black holes.

M87: We know you're out there. And we know you don't stick to a very planet-friendly diet.

Busted.

Okay, kids. Chew on that for a while. Before you get chewed on by the rudest next door neighbor ever.


*not be confused with frog stuff. though they sound a shit-ton like each other.